I close my eyes and I hear a whisper that hints at a thunderous voice ask, “What are you doing?”
To which I can’t help but reply: “I’m searching.”
The whisper laughs softly, under its breath, “searching for what dear child?”
My heart retorts even as my mind tries to ignore the whisper. “Answers.” I my heart responds.
“But to what question?” the whisper presses.
I frown, “I don’t know yet, but I’ll know the question when I find the answer.” I feel a defiance rise within me, an assurance in the knowledge that what I speak is my truth with full knowledge of its circular irrationality.
I hear the whisper hum, as if deep in thought. “Perhaps you prefer the hunt to any real discovery? Is perhaps the search -the quest alone- what drives you? Would not the journey be your answer?”
I smile, the voice might be right, but I don’t really want to know. I want to keep searching.
This is why I make art. Art can answer the unanswerable while still leaving room for another question. Art can help me search while soothing and healing at the same time. And so my journey continues.